committed and hopeful

it's so easy to brush off your work-out schedule when all the other aspects of life demand your time and presence.  it's so easy to say that worrying and stressing about all your activities coming one after the other because there aren't enough hours in the day is a VALID REASON to put off working out for yet another day, [again!].

i did that last week.  and i let it happen the week before that.  in fact, i've been doing just that for so many years now.

and now, i see what years of neglect has done to me.  everyday, i suffer the consequence of having so many excuses not to exercise. i have to look at the mirror too you know. =P

but this week i put my foot down.  i stuck to my plan with all my might and i treated each work-out session as if it was the most important thing i was going to do that day, not the meeting with my colleagues, not the errands, not even relaxing time with my newly-arrived hubby. [yes, and i am sure he is OKAY with it. he he.]

i did not cancel on myself.  and i am happy, and proud, and hopeful.

i am hopeful that the image looking right back at me from where i run on the treadmill will not look as sorry ass it did today.[lol, i couldn't help it. =P]

i am hopeful that someday i will float and stand like everybody else in spinning class and not have to endure the pain of the seat pushing against my butt [seriously!] because it is too heavy for me to lift[my butt, not the seat].

and i am hopeful that as the weeks pass, each day will get more challenging but not pathetically so.

tomorrow i have pilates.  and on saturday, my third gym session for the week.  i am indeed hopeful.

i survived...

...my pilates class.

it was tough for 2 reasons:

1. i return from a week of absence.
2. i only had 4 hours of sleep, and i need 8 to not turn into princess fiona. 

finalmente!

sono cosi felice!

I am this happy!

yes.  i finally made it to the gym.  signed up for a month, paid the fee, worked out for an hour.

now for the gory details:

• the gym scale was not on my side [ i prefer the one at my kids' pedia].  but in the interest of being upfront, it read 172 lbs. arrrgh!
• i did 40 minutes on the treadmill
• and 25 minutes on the elliptical, and on the last three minutes i seriously considered hanging my whole body onto the handlebars.
• i got dizzy when i got off both machines, which the gym instructor said was normal.  maybe he thought i was THAT unfit.
• my ridiculous moment for today: i unintentionally suddenly shut down the treadmill at 25 minutes when curiosity got the better of me and i lifted the magnetic thingy which was attached to a string which was attached to the machine.  it turned out to be the emergency stop thingy. hence the ditzyness, i mean dizziness.
• tomorrow i resume my pilates class. yipee-ya-yey!

couscous in my tummy

so i cleaned out my ref, and unearthed some ingredients which have been hybernating in it since more than just a couple of years.  one of this was a half a packet of couscous which i refused to throwaway even if it was beyond the best before date, why?  because they were sooo expensive when i bought them and my nose didn't smell anyting funny when i did the sniff test.

so now, these ingredients are now waiting in line on the kitchen counter, either to die or be transformed into something palatable [if i make it to them before they die.]

i checked her out today, she's one of my faves in a new blogroll, and her post made me remember the couscous on my kitchen counter line-up.
wanting to experience the same healthy and cleansing properties of eating a meat-free meal, i stir-fried whatever i had in the ref and in the pantry  which i thought would be great with the couscous.  and i came up with an instant hit, even my kasambahay who are not a bit adventurous and are fearful of unfamiliar food couldn't get enough of it.  the finished product was practically gone in no time.

here's what i did.

and here's how i did it.

updates and lotsa links in between! =D

i had a haircut! or was it just a trim... i found her and fell in love with her hair and since i've been meaning to change my hairstyle i went and had my newly found hairstylist, Jules try and make me look like her.  of course i know i don't look a bit like her, even now, when my hair kinda looks like hers.  but i'm lovin' the look of my locks.  i can't won't show you a pic because my face is still fat and pudgy. =P

and i bought my second issue of Women's Health magazine to help boost my growing enthusiasm to move my butt.  i remember, when i was still active, i practically hoarded Muscle and Fitness Hers magazines in the effort to learn how to lift weights the correct way and in proper form.  i was so obsessed with weight-lifting  that i felt the need to read up and learn. Nooo, I never aspired to become muscular nor did i want to look like a she-man, i just wanted to do IT right.  i learned a lot by reading and i even was able to design my own work-out to achieve the muscle definition i wanted, which wasn't really much compared to the women in the magazines. [you can go pick up your dropped jaws now, that story, though true, belongs to my past life]

so, here i am reading up again, a bit sad that i must start from the 'aspiring' level.  but i must start somewhere, and in keeping with my 'new' life as a mother and the fact that i am rushing into the big 4-O, i must have a plan.  I WILL BE FIT AND FABULOUS AT FORTY.

it's not all words you know, the brown rice i've been eating must be something really good because despite the lack of effort at getting more physical in the past few weeks; despite the food binges; and despite the lack of artificial help [read:weight-loss pills], i have not gained weight and quite a few people have noticed the itty bit of weight i have somehow managed to still lose despite all of the above.

so, here's the first part of the plan:

• i continue my twice a week pilates sessions
• i start my thrice a week 30-minute cardio exercises tomorrow; my options being: walking around the subdivision when i wake up early enough; walking on the track at the gym if my free time falls on hot early afternoon hours; walking on the park oval if it falls at dusk. if all else fails, i do my old DVD work-out routine in the living room area.

if it wasn't almost midnight now, and if i did not have a really late dinner, i'd have switched on the DVD and started RIGHT NOW.

i will do this for 2 weeks and  up the ante every two weeks.  i'm loosely basing my plan on the Ultimate Fitness Plan 2010 plan i found on one of the issues of Women's Health magazine.  i say loosely because i do not have all the paraphernalia they require and i don't intend to spend on extras just yet when i know fully well that i can do other routines that do not require buying anything.

i'm writing this down here because this is Ben's number 1 advice.

So help me God.

running is probably a really good idea

so, i know i said i'll see you next week, but this temporary[?] obstacle of not being able to even attend my second pilates schedule sort of made me think study the possibility of starting a form of exercise that i kinda shunned since i grew mammary glands.

i've been letting it stew in my brain for days now, and i've even read up a bit on the possibility.  yes, i'm talking about running.  and finding the right sports bra wouldn't be a problem anymore, i think.

i remember loving the adrenalin rush after a good run when i was a kid.  i loved the wind on my face, the loud beating of my heart, and the pride i felt whenever i finished first or was ahead of every other kid i raced with.  and i'm not even talking about formal runs nor anything involving race tracks.  we just loved running when we were kids, so it was a huge part of play time: from taga-taga-anay or Tag to sprinting towards imaginary finish lines.  i don't have a childhood play date memory that did not involve running around.

during my active days [read: younger years, my 20's to be exact], i used to be a gym rat. i loved pumping up with weights, but for cardio exercises, the most i would do was walk on the treadmill, speed walk was something i would do rarely.  running hurt too much and the fear of sagging breasts instantly made me cross off any work out which involved running.  plus, the right 'protective' wear was beyond what my measly salary could afford.  but now that going back to the gym is becoming an unattractive option as the days [weeks] pass on, i'm thinking of taking up an altogether new thing.  and running just came to mind.

i don't need coordinated sports wear, i already have a pair of cross-trainers which i think will do for a beginner like me.  and the thought of cool air rushing at me is so much more pleasing compared to sweating it out in any old [or sparkling new] gym.  i know i am asthmatic, but it hasn't stopped runners from winning races.  of course i don't intend to race at all, well, just probably with myself for now.  i don't intend to land in the hospital ever again due to over exertion [yes, believe it or not i had to be admitted due to exercise-induced-severe-asthma attack which in turn ended my unhealthy love affair with the gym, but that's a whole other story.]

so,

does anyone know of a local [davao city] runners group who welcome asthmatic and overweight but REALLY interested beginners like me?  i would love to join YOU please. =D

crap!

the period arrived this morning.

now, i can't even go to pilates class.  even nature is against me!

see you next week blog. >(