the truth about my 10-pound weight-loss

it really sounds amazing, that i actually lost 10 lbs. [11 lbs. to be exact] in 10 days on the mastercleanse.  but the truth is, most of it was [excess] water weight and that the loss was inevitably temporary, unless i decided to NEVER eat again.

here are the facts [about my experience]:

1. the truth is, it was quite logical that i lost that many pounds.  i was drinking a maximum of only about 1000 calories a day on the lemonade.  so it was but natural that i lost weight.
2. about 2 days after the last day of the cleanse, my tongue finally turned pink and i noticed that i had noticeably clearer skin.  up until now i have rarely used face powder.  i just put on sunblock, [and line my sparse brows] and i'm ready to face the world. well, come to think of it maybe SOAPure Castile Soaps had something to do about why my skin looks better. ha ha, shameless advertising, i know!
3. the moment i started eating, i started to gain weight.  ha ha! nothing surprising there too!
4. it's been 9 days of regularly eating, with no serious effort to watch what i eat.  and i think i've stabilized at 159 lbs.  i hit 159 5 days ago and have stayed there  since.  so yes, what they said about gaining half of what you lost is quite true for me. =D
5. i eat a lot less than what i used to because i take care not to wait till i'm stuffed to stop eating.  when i feel almost full, i stop.
6. i also eat more slowly now.  you gain a lot of respect for food when you miss out on it for 10 whole days!
7. i also pass up on food that do not meet the standards of my tongue, lol.  i don't waste the calories on food that does not please my palate.
8. i don't feel as energized as i did on the detox.  that's the part i miss most about the mastercleanse.
9. i read somewhere that you can repeat the mastercleanse after 2 weeks rest, well i tried to repeat it a few days ago because of all the parties that the christmas season has brought and i wanted to do it for only 3 days.  unfortunately, my attempts were futile.  i was too busy to dedicate time to make the juice and in the end i had to give up as i ran out while still out.  the mastercleanse requires effort and serious planning.  
10. i have also started to exercise, walking mostly, because i do want to keep the weight down.  i will have at it more consistently by january.  my goal is to JUST MOVE EVERYDAY.
11. i WILL repeat the mastercleanse on january but only for 7 days tops.  and i will do it monthly until i reach my goal weight of 130lbs.

i will not be posting [i think] until the holidays are over. so crazy busy these days.  :p

happy CHRISTmas everyone!  

the salt water flush and why i hated it

WARNING: the info bellow will be TMI for some or many, depending on your level of interest.  but it is important information, nonetheless.

some of you have asked what it is and how you do it.  well first of all i learned too late that you are supposed to do it starting the night before Day 1 of the Mastercleanse.  and you are supposed to do it every morning upon waking up. i did it twice, i think on day 3 and day 7 and i did it at night [i'll tell you why in a bit].

what is the saltwater flush?

in brief, the salt water flush is 25-32 oz. [that's 4 glasses!] of warm water with 2 teaspoons of non-iodized salt mixed into it.

why do it?

to flush out toxins, the ones that have stayed with you since you can remember.  it is the other half of the mastercleanse, the other half being the lemon juice + maple syrup + cayenne pepper in water concoction.

how do i take it?

drink the concoction straight up, in as few gulps as possible.  make sure to stay at  home [or a toilet you are comfortable using] within 4 hours after drinking.

you are supposed to drink it as you arise in the morning but that time schedule is very impractical if you have to work and your day is already busy at 6am.

how will i feel after i drink it? [why i hated it]

well in my case, it was absolutely horrible even while still drinking it, think: drinking seawater.  i had to pause some moments  in between because i felt like puking the whole time.  and after?  you will feel bloated and icky. =P  plus, i think it was the reason for my temporary gains on days 4 and 8, i retained some of the fluid. =(

what happens after i drink it?

within 4 hours, you will be rushing, and i mean RUSHING, to the toilet.  i actually rushed and rushed within the first hour.  the feeling is akin to when you have LBM, because you WILL be having LBM, so loose you are practically peeing from your butt. =P and your first "go" will be the most satisfying as you will be like a leaky oil tanker so it is best to sit and STAY there for longer than you think is long enough. [thank goodness for iPad!]

must i do it, really?

it is optional, the other option being - drinking organic herbal caffeine-free laxative tea.  in my opinion the laxative tea is a much better option since you can drink it before you go to sleep. and drinking tea is a pleasurable action. =D

so what do i advise?

first of all it is key to 'flush' in the first 3 days and to start the night before Day1.  this is because by Day 4 and after there will be nothing much to flush out as you have been eating nada for too long.  the first time i did it i was happy with the results which was why i decided to do it the second time.  but the second time i passed practically nothing so it was definitely not worth the suffering and effort.

the next time i do the Mastercleanse i will make sure to drink laxative tea the night before Day 1 and do it every night until there is nothing to flush out anymore. =D

[i buy Smooth Move organic herbal caffeine-free laxative tea at healthy options. i have the chocolate flavor but there is a variety of flavors you can choose from if you prefer others.  1 box has 16 bags and costs about P200++]

from google pics

Life after Mastercleanse

it's been 2 days since the day i ended my 10-Day Mastercleanse.  and i'm happy i'm back to eating again. =D

i've noticed that i do not snack mindlessly anymore and that i eat more slowly now.  well, 10 days of not eating does that to you, i guess.  you try to do a slow-mo of each bite to savor the taste of every morsel that touches your tongue. ha ha, such is my never-ending love affair with food!

i also am a bit more discriminating now as tastes have become sharper, i've been finding a lot of restaurant food either a little too salty or too sweet, or in other cases, bland and tasteless.

i've been eating all kinds of food since yesterday, enjoying every bit of the company [my kids mostly] as well as the fact that i no longer have to shun food.   the funny thing is [well, it wasn't so funny at 4pm yesterday] my tummy had a difficult time adjusting and i had to run to the toilet about 3 times!  i felt queasy and for some moments, it hurt a lot.

i deserved it though because i did not follow the instructions of easing into eating again.  i was supposed to take just orange juice on the first day, then soup today and wait till 2 weeks to start eating meat.  "hell no!' my hungry brain screamed inside my head!  so instead, i jumped right into eating and had cheese [dairy is a huge no-no at the start].   luckily, the suffering and discomfort didn't take too long as i am A-Okay today. =D

i also feel satisfied a lot sooner than before, so i try to pay attention to how i feel and stop eating when the "i'm almost full" signal switches on.  this way i stop just at the right time and eat just the right amount.

i know i have to move more because i do not like restricting myself when it comes to good food.  and a little of this and a little of that can mean a lot, so i've been thinking of how to move more without the pressure of going to the gym, waking up at 5am to run, or having to pack and unpack a gym bag every single day!

i remembered i had the 30-Day Shred by Jillian Michaels and so just a while ago i just went and tried it again.   The first time i tried it about a few months ago, i did not get past level 1, heck i did not even accomplish level 1 with perfect passable form.  i had to stop doing it because my weight was killing my knees and my feet.

tonight, i was able to do just 1/3 of the level 1 routine which isn't surprising given my state of being super unfit. but at least my knees do not hurt and my feet did not get shots of searing pain.  maybe i'm not so heavy anymore. =D

let me tell you a bit about the 30-Day Shred and why i like it.  this video has 3 levels which you are supposed to successfully accomplish in 30 days.  each level lasts for 20 minutes only and you are supposed to do it everyday.  this was designed by Jillian Michaels [one of the trainers on the Biggest loser] for busy people who do not have time to exercise.  the routine calls for a combination of cardio, abs, and strength training exercise which you do alternately and successively with practically no rest in between.  hence my being able to only do about 1/3 of the whole thing.

i had an asthma attack in the middle and had to stop for about 7 minutes before i pathetically tried to follow the moves again.  but i ended up sweating like a pig afterwards which was what i was after.

now, my legs are shaking and i'm expecting some soreness tomorrow.  but i feel great! =D

Mastercleanse Days 9 & 10

I'm now officially a graduate of the 10 day mastercleanse. =D Yipee!  But that doesn't mean i will not be doing it again.  I actually intend to do it periodically as it definitely is a good way to purge impurities from my body.


i'm glad i did this and i'm also glad that is finally over.  i can now take on the next challenge of maintaining my current weight.  for record purposes, here is an update:


Day 1 - November 28 - 165.8 lbs.
       2 - November 29 - 162.4 lbs.     -3.4 lbs.
       3 - November 30 - 160.4 lbs.     - 2 lbs.
       4 - December 1   - 161.2 lbs.     + 0.8 lbs.
       5 - December 2   - 159.8 lbs.     - 1.4 lbs.
       6 - December 3   - 158.4 lbs.     - 1.4 lbs.
       7 - December 4   - 157.8 lbs.     - 0.6 lbs.
       8 - December 5   - 158.2 lbs.     + 0.4 lbs.
       9 - December 6   - 157.2 lbs.      - 1 lbs.
       10 - December 7 -  156 lbs.        - 1.2 lbs


this means i lost 9.8 lbs. in 10 days!


November 29 - Starting narrowest waist measurement - 36 inches
                         1 inch above belly button measurement - 38 inches


November 30 - Narrowest - 35 inches, no change in the belly


December 3 - Narrowest - 34 inches, belly 36.5


this means i lost 2 inches around the waist and 1.5 inches in the belly area.


i've read that after the mastercleanse you more or less gain back half of what you lost.  so if it's true, it will put me at 160 lbs.  i hope not.  i was and still am hoping i can stay in the 150's this time.


i have yet to update my salt water flush experience [it was ugly] and my observations, opinions on how to do the mastercleanse in a better way.  i will do it in the coming days.


for now, i think i will just bask in my achievement. =D  finally, i won a major battle! against cravings, the urge to munch and the desire to binge, which did not feel like a battle most of the time. ;)


i wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Mastercleanse Days 7 & 8

busy, busy days!

here's what i can add to my mastercleanse record of experiences:

Day 7

i started to drink the juice too late, at noon.  maybe i wasn't hungry, maybe i was tired of the juice already.  wrong move, i felt a bit weak and lethargic.  i made up for it in the afternoon and guzzled down glasses of it and regained my energy.  note to self:  drink up every so often, do not wait till you get hungry, it will be too late.

Day 8 [today]

i'm up to here *grabs hold of the throat and pushes out tongue in disgust* with the juice.  since yesterday, i've had difficulty trying to finish the minimum amount of 60 oz. per day.  i normally had to have 90 oz to keep from feeling hungry.  and now, no hunger pangs, not much juice.  i have no idea if this is okay or not.

i can't add much as i said at the start, today is busy.  i'm still busy. even at 11 in the evening!  see ya tomorrow, Day 9!!!

Mastercleanse Day 6

Today was easy in the sense that i didn't do much of anything that was work-related.  i attended my daughter's family day activity in school and then came home with them early afternoon;  cooked my thankfully-not-over-cured-ham, which i was supposed to cook two days ago; and set the table for a dinner of take-out roast chicken [Chooks-to-go, the kiddos' favorite!]

It was also easy food-wise.  until now i marvel at my ability to say no to every food item that came into my path today.  For example, the lunch buffet, which i had to get for Ate Kat and my son and daughter, was: steaming hot rice, chicken cordon bleu, baked macaroni, pork barbecue, and an array of other dishes i opted not to get.  Oh and did i mention there was lechon also?  i sat with them, fed my daughter, Guela while Ate Kat tried to feed my son, Maxie.  I watched as all the other families partook of the delicious fare.  I sipped my juice contentedly amazed at how my mouth kept from bubbling over with envy.  =P

Didn't i want to eat?  of course i did.  Did i not find the sight and aroma of food tempting?  of course i did.  so what gives?  i had not eaten for 6 whole days!  i must be starving! but i wasn't.

as i try to reflect on my self-control, i am reminded of moments in the past when i see skinny women naturally pass up all the delicious food in front of them and contentedly nibble on greens or sip on hot tea.  and i think to myself, so this must be how easy it is for them.  so this must be how they feel when turning down food being offered to them. without batting an eyelash.  a friend told me this afternoon, as i was telling her about my disbelief at my own self-control, that i was simply determined.

maybe i am.  just that.  determined.  maybe i really am really sick of a bulging belly.  maybe i am really already tired of having to drag around my heavy body.  and maybe i also am sick and tired of looking at the mirror and hating what i see.

i wonder now if i can carry this through.  i actually dread when day 10 comes.  when i have to start eating again.  i honestly never thought i would come this far.  but probably the shame of giving up and failing again [for the nth time] was as much of a motivation to push on.

i know when i started this Mastercleanse i said i was doing it to detoxify my body of all the toxins i've accumulated over the years.  but one strong factor was that it promised weight loss.  and that it was a very good jump start to finally lose some serious excess weight.  i chose this among other ways because i found that everything else i did: exercise, no-rice diet, no sodas just did not work out the way they did when i was much younger.  so i needed a big change, a sort of major-start-over strategy.  hence this.

i still have much to lose in terms of weight.  and i know that one wrong move will mean regaining everything i lost so far in no time, and put me back to square one.  but i do not want to go back there anymore. ever.  right now i feel strong and in control.  what if after this cleanse i will lose all will power and just surrender to my weakness - after all, i am actually one of those people who LIVE TO EAT.  Food is the highlight of my day.

i guess only time will tell.  Day 7, bring it on.

Mastercleanse day 5

Hello Day 6!  it feels great to see you!  =D

Again, i wasn't able to update about Day 5 last night because i came home really late and was too tired to even start up the pc.  It was a day that started at 6am and i had accomplished quite a lot, thank you very much!

So let me start this post with a summary of my weight stats!

Day 1 - November 28 - 165.8 lbs.
       2 - November 29 - 162.4 lbs.
       3 - November 30 - 160.4 lbs.
       4 - December 1   - 161.2 lbs.
       5 - December 2   - 159.8 lbs.

and today, Day 6, i weighed in at 158.4 lbs.  Congratulations self!  Welcome to the 150's! [again!]  The lowest i've been since being on this journey, if i remember right was 157 lbs.  i squandered all the effort i gave to it on the vacation that followed last summer. food trip galore! =P

well i plan to not be as idiotic this time and finally find the perfect balance for myself. [crossing my fingers and  pleading with the scale gods, ha ha]

So, even if i've not been doing a good job of my supposedly day-to-day account of the mastercleanse experience, i really have to say that it is something that changes how you look at food, the act of eating, and your ability to control the urge to eat.  it's difficult to put it into words but i find what i go through, during the process of opting to pick up my jug and drink the juice instead of eating every plate of food i come across with or is presented to me, amusing, enlightening, and purifying all at the same time.

many times during the day, i want to stop for a moment and write down my realizations and discoveries, but the problem is i don't have the time to sit down and write.  anyhoo, i will have to content myself with what comes to mind when i do have the time.

till then...  Day 6, i'm ready for you! =D

Mastercleanse Day 4

today was a very busy day.  cleanse-wise i had no trouble at all.  but i'm too tired to write a long one today so i'll just make up for it tomorrow, okay.

 i was able to take something other than the juice, it was a nice break. =D i had caffeine-free mint tea.

all in all, contrary to popular belief [basing on blogs i have read] day 4 was a breeze compared to the first 3 days. =)

ooh, and i did the salt water flush last night.  it deserves a whole other post, he he.

i also gained 0.8 lbs. when i weighed in this morning.  i find it strange.  what makes it interesting is i lost 1 inch on the belly measurement... i wonder what tomorrow's reading will be.  Day 5, here i come!

Mastercleanse Days 2 & 3

So. first things first.  today is day 3 and i weighed myself as soon as i woke up.  i'm down to 160.4 lbs., the lighter side of me since i can remember. =p  i also took my waist measurements.  the narrowest part measured 35 inches, meaning i lost 1 inch.  but the lower part did not budge, so my belly is still very much with me.  he he.

for those of you [about 32 of you, if sitemeter is doing it's job correctly], who are just tuning in, i am on my 10-day Mastercleanse detox diet.  you can check in on why and how i began this on my "I'm back!"  post here.

so, onto my report...

Day 2

yesterday was pretty busy up until i went home at about 5 pm so whenever i felt hungry i would just gulp down a few swigs of the juice and went on my busy day.  All in all yesterday was a lot better than day 1.  forgive me but i cannot say anything more about day 2, i'll explain in a bit...

Day 3

it's a holiday today so i had a lot of time on my hands.  this doesn't mean that there wasn't any work to do, i have yet to tick off a single item in my to-do-list.  but i decided to take it easy as my daughter has been complaining in a major way how i always am on the pc, working, and that i never play with them.  I can write a whole other post about this part of my life but it does not belong here so i won't.

i've been feeling a bit light-headed today, just a wee bit. so i don't remember anything else about yesterday. =P  i am not as hungry as the first day or probably yesterday but i feel a bit strange, i can't explain it.  i do not feel weak, i do not feel tired, i do not feel like i'm starving.  it's more like how you feel when you lack sleep.  it's weird because i had more than my fair share of 8 hours, so why feel like this?

i read somewhere that when you are on the cleanse your body rids yourself of toxins and it's [your body] going to tell you what you need.  and maybe that's just it.  i don't get much sleep, HAVE NOT GOTTEN MUCH SLEEP SINCE 5 YEARS AGO, when i first gave birth to my daughter, lol!

anyways, i also missed food today. nothing specific in particular, and i do not miss food like i want to gobble up everything in sight.  i just miss tasting different textures in my mouth, different tastes.  i'm kinda tired of the juice.  i think when this batch of calamansi runs out, i'm switching to lemons.

I also have to drink more water.  i hardly drink any.  and tomorrow morning i'm doing the dreaded salt water flush. =P

sorry for this crappy post but i really don't feel like writing right now. i hope i'll be in a better state of "write" tomorrow, Day 4.  till then...

Mastercleanse Day 1

So, yesterday i started the 10-Day Detoxification process called the Mastercleanse.

If you read my last post i said i tried to do it for 2 days just to see if i could stand not eating anything solid and still be able to go about my normal routine.  i said it was a breeze and that i felt energized the whole time.

yesterday was not as easy as the first time.  i actually felt hungry often and at times almost forgot i was on the cleanse and thought about where to take my lunch... Good thing i did not totally forget and was able to continue the day successfully.  The drink solved the hunger problem.  Running out of it while away from home made me feel weak.  and what i forgot when i did it the first time was that i had to pee a million times.  It was like i was purging out all the excess water in my body!  it was annoying to have to go to the bathroom so many times but i knew it was doing my body good.  and , warninng: TMI... my pee was aplenty and as clear as water. =D [you were warned. =P]

i weighed myself as soon as i woke up yesterday and found that i was on my heavier side. =P  a whopping 165.4lbs.  what i forgot to do was measure my waist so i did that this morning.  i made 2 measurements:

• the narrowest part of the waist : [brace yourselves] 36 inches
• 1 inch above the belly button: [hold on to your seats] 38 inches

aargh.  i did not want to share that.  but i have to, for record purposes, as i am sure to have forgotten the numbers in 10 days time. =P

i also weighed myself this morning and my scale said: 162.4lbs. Tadaaa!  that's 3 pounds of water or pee, ewww, gross!  i wonder how many liters that means.. can you convert pounds to liters? ;)

i am well aware that whatever i lose during the 10 days can come back a hundredfold.  but i am hoping that the cleansing part of this diet will help me clean up my act and really start eating healthy, read: stay off processed food and drinks!

so i am arming myself with more of the juice today and hope that today will be better than yesterday.  =D

back where i started =D

apparently, i've come full circle, ha ha.  i really missed this blog.  to be honest, trying to be cool over there with the cool kids at tumblr just didn't work out for me.  ha ha.  well, when you are 40, trying to be cool is totally uncool.  =P

anyhoo, just a quick update.  i'm stuck at 163 lbs, yo-yo-ing between 160 and 165 but mostly at 163.  been here for about too long than i should be [since June 2011, aarghh!] .  so i'm gonna change all that, yep, for the nth time, but i pray to God, with the i-hope-it's-really-gonna-workout-better-this-time-on-bended-knees kind of pleading.

my latest strategy, is not just aimed at weight loss but over-all detoxification. because skipping rice, sugar, softdrinks, for 2 weeks did not work like magic as it used to when i was half my age.  and  i think i need it.  40 years of eating all the crap that tasted oh so good but now feels oh so heavy [mainly on the belly] need to be purged off my system. i'm talking about doing the mastercleanse.  all of the recommended 10 days of it.

but before i talk about it, just to make sure i get this blogging thing straight for whoever is reading, since there are SOME people [i couldn't believe it myself but sitemeter does not lie, right? right?] who still visited this blog even when i stopped and moved over to where the cool kids are at.

why on earth i wanted to join them kids, i cannot think for the life of me now. =P but hey, don't get me wrong.  it's great over there too, and i met really nice people, learned a lot from them and got motivated with their successes and the support and push they gave me.  it's just me, of course.  i decided, i should come back here and finish this thing once and for all. =D

Soooooo, my last post was here where i said i was moving back to here.  but i never did. So, i'm back here. [whew, that was way too many heres.  but i hope you follow. [pun, super intended] =p

and yes, i missed writing long posts and i'm just the kind of girl who likes to round things up, and finish whatever i started.  and i MISS blogger.  because this is where the REALLY COOL ONES are at.  ha ha!

so back to my new strategy.  i first heard about it [yes believe me, i just learned about it, even if it has been existing for longer than i have, more than 50 years they say] from my mom, who gave me not one but 2 newspaper clippings of 2 different women who tried out the mastercleanse aka the lemonade diet.  Gina gave a day by day account of her experience and Lucy wrote about the struggle with food temptations and the beautiful effects of finishing the detox process.

honestly, it took a few days for me to even consider seriously reading about it.  10 days without anything solid seemed an impossible hurdle, especially for a person like me who lives to eat.  it's my most favorite thing to do.  ha ha!

but when my mom urged me to try it, i began researching on it and the more i learned about it, the more i wanted to see if it was really possible.

So last week, 2 days before the hubby arrived, i decided to try it out.  i said i will do it for 2 days, just to see if i can really go on my day normally sans solid food.  and i was amazed with my experience.  i actually went through those 2 days without food --> feeling great!  here's what happened:

• i drank a minimum of 60 oz. of the juice per day.  i used calamansi instead of lemon since they are much cheaper and much easier to squeeze [i do not have any kind of lemon squeezer contraption].  i had nothing but the drink and alkaline water.
• whenever i'd feel hungry, i would drink a glass or 2 of the juice and i was good to go.
• it was not difficult at all.  i even had to supervise a baking class, got presented with irresistible baked goods, but, i had no desire to eat even one morsel.
• the best part? i felt energized through out, i felt light on m my feet, and the first night, i got sleepy early [i'm a night owl] and i woke up early, REFRESHED [something that does not happen at all! i usually wake up and get up from bed reluctantly, with a heavy heart and butt =P]

i know, i know.  2 days are not 10 days, and it well could have been the usual first-day-high.  and maybe being busy with a gazillion things to do got my mind off food.

and Lucy and and a bunch of others say the 4th day is the hardest.  i realize 10 days are not a joke but if the first 2 days were a breeze, maybe i have hope.

so tomorrow, i start on the detox for the long haul - 10 days.  i expect to lose a bit of weight, which i might just gain back when i finish with the 10 days  but i'm more after that great, energized feeling of being healthy.  knowing you're doing something right for your body.  i think it is high time!

i also read that the mastercleanse is a good way to start a healthier eating lifestyle, which i think is what i really need to be doing the most.  i'm never going to lose the remaining 30 lbs. if i do not change my eating habits for the better.  yes, i'm aiming for 130 lbs.  125 seems too far away [read: unrealistic] at this point in time. =D

and i'm afraid to go to the doctor because i think diabetes, hypertension, and a worser case of asthma is just around the corner so i think this is the next best thing to do right now.  maybe i'll  have the courage to get a health check when i've taken better care of my body.  whatever.  i'm just so going to do this.

tomorrow is Day 1.

goodbye

i guess some color, theme, and title changes are not enough for my new journey.  i have decided to move on and move out.  this blog has been a never-ending roller coaster ride that has turned into a vicious cycle.

so i bow out of here.  if you still believe in me, you can check in on my progress here.

thank you for reading, cheering, and maybe even snickering.

the race. begins. now. see you at my big bash!

one strategy at a time

when i decided to get serious about becoming fit and healthy, about the time when i actively began posting again this year, i never thought it would be this difficult.  or maybe it would be better to say, i never thought it would take a lot to stay motivated at exercising and re-inventing my eating habits.

if i look back, not so long ago, it seems like i'm always starting something and never really am successful at maintaining what i set out to do.  and its not like i did not even try because i did.  it is just that i still have not found that exercise regimen which will fit the life i have right now.  and the most difficult of all is to constantly say NO to grazing and binge eating.  i also cannot bring myself to eat all the recommended foods in most [if not all] of the diet programmes i researched on.  because they always involve extra expenses and additional work, both of which is too much for my already full hands right now.

so two things, i GOTTA do:

1. i gotta get a hold of my self-control and not let it fly out the window the minute i see food.  i gotta lick my love for food, specifically my love for starches and pork.
2. i gotta find THAT exercise regimen which i need badly to lose the belly fat, huge amounts of it, i tell you!  i know it should involve cardio/aerobic work-outs but something not hard on my weak knee and does not involve wearing a swimsuit please.

i found/discovered three things whilst staying cooped up in this hospital room:

1. i can exercise at home. lifestyle channel has a 5:30am program daily.  so that means i need to wake up EARLY to join in on the action.
2. Jillian Michaels, that terror of a boot camp trainor of 'who's the biggest loser?' fame.
3. a cool routine tip from discovery no. 2 - exercise with a pack of cards [more on this later]. this is for when i don't catch the early morning show in no. 1

we are going home the day after tomorrow.  i'm kinda excited to start again.  i actually tried some routines last night, i stopped at 5 reps, my arms hurt and i couldn't lift my butt without endangering the hospital furniture.

today is my birthday and i am 39 years old.  and i'm spending it in a hospital room.  with my daughter who is recovering from a severe case of bacteremia.  we were here since oct. 28 and will have to stick it out here for another 3 days.  the antibiotics she is being treated with is only available in vials and can only be administered intravenously.  she is out of danger now.  Thanks be to God!

i on the other hand am in danger of sabotaging my weight-loss efforts.  although i am not [yet] stuffing my self sick with food, i am eating more often and unhealthy take-out food at that.  i blame it on stress and boredom and sleeplessness and pathetic internet connection for now.

so, i hope to get back on track soon.  on a more positive note, i have been able to analyze my fitness persona [or the lack of it] and am now trying to psyche myself into losing girth and weight.  i'm crossing my fingers i finally nail it this time around. 

yesterday i stopped taking note of what i ate, instead i just kept on being mindful of what i ate.  taking care to not overeat and continue with my no-white-rice diet.

i also have successfully avoided dessert pastries and i hope i can keep on with my birthday nearing and the christmas season coming in.  i cannot claim that i have stopped drinking sodas and eating sweets altogether but because of the conscious effort i am happy to report that i have kept it at a minimum.

my waterloo instead is my love for starchy food.  the whiter the better, ha ha.  i love rich, dense bread, pasta of all kinds, and yes, white rice.

last night i had a spoonful of it and i was reminded of how comforting and delicious it is when paired with the right food [which simply means everything else].  but i'm glad i stopped myself at that one spoonful.

i also love pork very much, especially when it is tender and with just the right amount of fat.  and pork to me is best paired with white rice.  think lechon and a steaming cup of rice.  or pork tonkatsu as topping to a hot bowl of japanese rice.  or even nilagang baboy isn't complete if you don't have at least a cup of white rice with it.  and chicharon, have you tried it with left-over rice?

according to any and all weight-loss diets ever created and written, this is the most sinful of combinations.  this is the pairing that is so calorie-dense that it will sabotage weeks of conscientious dieting.

so why, oh why is something that tastes so good sooo, sooo bad for us? especially to apple-shaped women like me.  and do you know that whenever i attend parties, i bypass all of the other attractive and dishes served in favor of lechon and plain white rice.  to me, nothing can beat the satisfaction of crunchy roasted pork rind, pure almost bland tender slice of meat and a spoonful of white rice.  with or without the sauce that comes with it, it is perfection.

pardon this rant of a post.  i turned away from succulent lechon being hawked at the mall at dinnertime yesterday and for lunch today i only had 2 rolls of meatless fresh lumpia.  and not even a grain of brown rice with it.

day 9

of my 30-day challenge.

today was an epic fail in all accounts.  i did no exercise and i ate way too much than i should have.  i have reasons but i won't make any excuses.  i almost was not going to post anything today, out of shame.  but i promised not to lie, so here i am.

and there's one thing, i can't decide if it's a good or bad discovery.  i just finished reading this book

it has now changed how i thought being fit and healthy should be.  and it TOTALLY compromises the challenge i have embarked on.  and now i honestly don't know how to go on.

i want to do aerobic exercises as it says i should but i don't know of any which won't worsen my knee problem.  swimming is not an option.  the one thing, pilates, which makes me sweat and which works my muscles sore is way too expensive to do everyday.

and it also says i should be eating a mostly carbo-filled diet and a moderate intake of  fat and protein.  the exact opposite of what i thought was good for me.and that the focus should not be in the weight loss but on my waistline [gulp].

i feel miserable right now.  but i won't quit.  somehow, i'm going to get ME back.  i just have to find my way.

the only good thing about today is i finished reading ben from start to present and he is so inspiring, i wanted to put on my sweats and head for the gym.  but my upset stomach and STILL bad knee held me back.

so i'm changing up the challenge a bit.  it will no longer be a "no this if no that" thing.  it will simply be a challenge to just DO IT and this is still day 9 of course.  so here goes.

Target weight: 125 lbs.
Target waistline: 28
Target Date: November 1, 2011, my 40th birthday

side note:  i needed a change of title as well. i hope i do it justice.

day 8

of my 30-day challenge.

boy am i glad yesterday didn't count as cheat day because today unwittingly became one.  i did not eat rice yes but i ate a lot.  a little of this and a little of that, ends up a lot.  that i don't, can't, remember each and every item that i shoved into my mouth.

so i won't make a food report.  and yes i'm cheating cause i declare today as my cheat day,  and i'm going to make up for my pigging out tomorrow.  rest assured my binge did not include any dessert, nor a grain of rice.

today's realization:

• i have to find a way to get rid of my clean-plate mentality, and no throwing-out of food mentality.  i can't seem to stand the thought of wasting food even if i am confronted with the most unpalatable dish ever [unless i have an aversion to it's aroma, of course]
• i must, must learn to say no, NO, NO, NO.

Day 7

of my 30 day challenge.

i wasn't able to update last night because i got home really late.  after watching eat, pray, love.  alone. on last full show.  ha ha ha.  i had a silly grin on my face from when i got up from my seat as the credits rolled, all the way to the almost empty parking lot.  but that story belongs to another blog.  so, on with my 1-day-late report.

so yesterday being a sunday was my cheat day.  but because i had my pilates the day before, it didn't really feel like cheat day.  i don't think i made a huge dent on my diet.

i'm feeling good about my self-discipline when it comes to eating lately  so i think it's time to tighten the belt  so to speak [pun super-intended], so i am going to up the ante on this challenge in a while.

but first,

• at 8 am i had the breakfast of champions and my morning coffee
• lunch at noon was a serving of my left over creamy squash soup over a half cup of corn grits and an egg
• i was famished by 3pm, so i ordered myself a heavy mid-afternoon snack of a big cervelat and a small siding of warm potato salad.  i dredged each yummy bite of sausage with their really good mustard [edmond fallot].  and i had another mug of coffee, this time brewed.
• we had a dinner meeting at a filipino restaurant and i am proud to say that it was not difficult to NOT eat rice.  i had salad greens with mango salsa, a small cup of molo soup, mixed veggies, and a few slices of pata tim. i mopped up the sauce with a slice and a half of the bread that came with it.  the bread was heavenly and i suspected calorific so i stopped myself from reaching for more.

what i learned this week:

1.  that it is INDEED good to write down what you eat.  it helps a lot because it makes you aware of what you put into your mouth.  doing it in a blog makes you feel more accountable even if you know not many people read you.  i did not know that saving-face can be a good weight-loss tool.
2. that you can control how much you eat by pacing yourself.  it is very dangerous to let myself get really hungry because i WILL eat calorie-dense food.  my brain will not function when i am that hungry so i will end up wasting all that effort.  and the self-loathing that comes immediately after sucks big time.  i'm glad i had that occasional banana and cereal bar to tide miyself over to dinner time.
3. that if you have a really light dinner, you have to accept that you should drink something hot before going to bed because you will wake-up in the middle of the night with a rumbly stomach.  by the way, i forgot to write this,  that night i slept hungry, i think the other day, the one where i had salad greens for dinner, i downed a handful of peanuts and a glass of water at 2am, or i wouldn't have been able to go back to sleep.
4. that discipline grows on you.  i said no to dessert so many times this week, i lost count.  i wanted to go for seconds many times but i didn't.  i unintentionally ended up with something sweet [i ordered a cold raspberry green tea, requesting the staff not to add sugar/sweetener] to drink with my salad that other night.  i only drank half of it because they forgot my request, and the i found it too sweet.
5. that it's okay to tweak this challenge if it will make it a better challenge. the tweaks i will post later just because. =P

Day 6

of my 30 day challenge.

today was good.  in more ways than one.

let me get the food diary out of the way, i had:

• coffee and the breakfast of champions in the morning
• this for lunch:

creamy squash soup over con grits and sprinkled with chili flakes

• a banana and a cereal bar as late-afternoon snack
• a salad of mesclun greens with parma ham, goat cheese, shavings of parmesan cheese, cherry tomatoes drizzled in vinaigrette.  it was delish!!! [note to self for next time:  ask the waiter to serve the dressing separately so i consume less of it.]

on to more good news:

• one of the pilates instructors commented that i lost a considerable amount of weight from when i first started [a few months ago].  yipee!  and he gave me further tips on how to lose more weight gradually.  he gave me the no-no about not eating carbs, i should be happy, i guess.
• i met an online friend who is my most supportive cheerer in the weight-loss department, and she is the reason i had salad for dinner.  i can just imagine if we lived in the same city, either i'm now as slim as she is or we won't be friends anymore, ha ha ha.  i actually fear her.  i mean that in a good way. =P
•  i did some new routines on the reformer today.  it was really hard but i did not give up.
• tomorrow is my cheat day but i'm deadset on eating right to make up for my challenge booboo.

to be honest i feel a bit hungry now so i'm going to drink a glass of water and hit the bed so i don't end up ruining today. =P

major booboo discovery

OMG

i checked out my 30-day challenge post and reread it.

and i just made a major booboo.  i thought i wrote NO RICE, and not NO CARBS...

lol, i've been eating carbs here and there, albeit reduced portions to my normal capacity.  i'm so effing pathetic.  =P

so i guess i have to tighten the belt and do the nocarbs if no exercise etc, etc thing from now on.

way to go self, i think i just got the gold for world's worst challenge-taker ever. =P