glad to be a loser

yes i am!

i finally put down my stats, that's additional motivation for you! =D

i've been taking the pill for 14 straight days now and for about the same time i've also given up rice at dinner time.  well, except last night, i had to eat a couple of spoonfuls with the beef stew i made for the hubby.  i allowed myself that considering i had no breakfast and no lunch, absolutely nada.  just a glass of water and nothing else.  at around 4 p.m i ate 2 itty-bitty pieces of toblerone offered to me by my soon to be sister-in-law as i had no energy to go out and buy something to eat anymore.

so that's my justification for eating a full meal at dinner time =P

oh, i decided to up the ante a little more.  i bought a box of tea which is supposed to make my metabolism better and make me go do number 2 as soon as i wake up in the morning.  i've taken the tea once and yes it was effective.  i just have to convince myself to drink it every night.  no, it doesn't taste horrible.  in fact, it tastes like your average chinese tea.  i'm just no tea-drinker, that's all.

if only it were coffee instead, sigh!

carbo free dinners = svelte body in 3 weeks

its true, my friend's 'no-longer-chubby- friend' is really slim now.  i saw her most recent pics [taken just this past weekend] and she really is as thin as a non-chubby person is.  lol, i need to improve my adjectives.

i guess next week's plan of attack is more raw veggies at night paired with healthy protein and probably some fruit.  actually, this ex-chubby girl is also my firend but because i have not asked her permission yet, i will not name her.  i'm so tempted to place before and after pics of her just to inspire me more. and you who are in the same boat as i am. =D

i'm planning to stock up on cucumber salad.  i love it and i can eat a big bowl for dinner and eat while playing yoville on FB.  lol!  and it's such a cinch to make:

slice up some cucumbers, horizontally, so you end up with 'cucumber coins'.  i prefer to use the long, thin japanese variety cause i don't like to remove the skin and their deep green color just looks way better than the pale native ones [i bet they're healthier too]. i sprinkle some salt on it, mix it up a bit, and let the cucumber water drain off for about 15 minutes or so.  then i add vinegar, i prefer sukang-puti, barely a teaspoon of sugar[optional] and freshly ground black pepper.  let it sit covered in the ref for about thirty minutes.  it's yummier when it's cold and crunchy.  enjoy it with porkchops, fried chicken or even your ordinary galunggong.  you'll be smacking your lips for sure.

curbing the craving

why is it that when there is a conscious effort to stop eating the good stuff like chocolate and creamy, buttery, melt-in your-mouth pastries the cravings just about kill you???

i almost gave in tonight, like i did last night.  there's half a bag of dark chocolate hershey kisses taunting me right now and it's taking all the self-control i can muster to not get up, walk 5 steps and eat 1 dark, gooey kiss at a time.

i only had a small bowl of left-over congealed chop suey for dinner.  yuck.  it was still yucky even after i zapped it in the micro.  but i ate it anyway so i wont have to suffer hunger pangs before i crawl into bed.

the image in the mirror looks better than it did yesterday so i push on and get a new wave of courage to control my overzealous tastebuds.  i would like to give the mirror a chance to see me smile at it again. ;P

stinky broccoli

i am so far successful in the no-rice-at-dinnertime plan, which actually means no bread, pasta or sweet pastry stuff at night either.  good thing there's meat and veggies.  they're good filler-uppers.  i heard from a friend who has a chubby friend that chubby friend is no longer chubby.  she just started to eat only salads and protein at dinner time for only 3 weeks and is looking pretty svelte now.  my, oh my, i'm sooo excited for me, lol!

so today i had pasta and broccoli for brunch.  since cooking is such a heavy thing for me these days -read: i hate it, i just zapped a bowl of broccoli florets in the micro, drizzled EVOO and sprinkled some salt on it.  i paired it with left-over linguine which i also zapped in the micro along with some light butter and feta cheese,  sprinkled them all with grated parmigiano-not-reggiano [lol!] and i had a stinky but yummy meal.

why does broccoli reek so much?  i brushed twice now but every time i burp, it stinks up my breath with broccoli gas.  i guess 1 minute of zapping was too much.  according to google, the gas comes out when you overcook it. blecch!

i'm back

it's a whopping 2 months and 16 days since i last posted and it's all because of facebook.  well, facebook games to be exact.  i have never been online as much as i have in the past two months and i've never been as 'unconnected' as ever.  for the first month all i could think about was play, play, play.  my friends thought i was crazy as nothing came out of my mouth at outings [as rare as they already are] but how this game and that was soooooo cool.

but i knew all along that in time my 'game addiction' would taper off and life would go back to normal.  too bad even my weightloss goals were put on hold.  i forgot to take my wonder drug so many days i practically stopped.

i still play but not as much.  daily, but as i said, not as much as in the first weeks.  and i'm back on track with losing some of the fat before 2009 bows out.

to make up for wasted time, i'm denying myself of rice at dinner time.  so far, so good.  and i'm back on the drug.  so i'm actually looking forward to a lighter me this christmas. i think diet and the wonder drug will absolutely do wonders, he he.

how's every one?

inches lost so far

laugh if you must but i just have to write and post about my latest motivation to continue my strategy.  the first time i had the courage to measure myself was about a month or two ago.  i wanted to know the extent of my gain in inches.

back when i was single and at my fittest [ i can't say thinnest or even slimmest as i've never been thin or slim] i measured 36-27-36.  at that time i already despaired at my BIG waistline.  i managed to make it smaller for a while, 25 inches, but then i was starving myself so i stopped.  i accepted my genetic fate and kept it at 27 inches.

i don't remember measuring myself ever again after giving birth to Guela.

i have a tape measure hanging in the wall of my bathroom and when i measured myself the first time i was not surprised to read 42-36-42.  yuck, but that is the truth.  a whopping 6 inches gain on the chest and the hips and a disgusting 9 inches on the tummy region. Gawd, i wanted to puke there and then.

this morning after waking up and washing my mouth, i measured myself again.  40-33-41.  not bad, not baaad at all. yipee!

now, what do i do with my kangga pouch?  the joeys have long transferred to their new abode.  the pouch is empty but has still remained a pouch. how do i get rid of it?

the most delightful thing

an unexpected reason for rejoicing happened today.  i never knew that ill-fitting clothes could make me smile uncontrollably.

although most of my colleagues at work are family members: my sister, brother, brother-in-law, sis-in-law-to-be, we decided that to look more professional and more credible as school adminstrators, we had to wear respectable uniforms to work.  so we surfed the net, browsed through magazines, and even copied an actual blouse to come up with un-uniformly uniforms.  the designs we came up with were so chic that we couldn't wait for them to arrive, so we could start wearing nice clothes without having to worry about not knowing what to wear every time we reported for work.

our uniforms arrived today.  we were measured just a few weeks ago and boy was i surprised to see that my set of 3 blouses and 2 pairs of pants were all too big for me.  i couldn't believe what i saw in the mirror.  and i rechecked with the dressmaker if there was a mistake somewhere.  she checked the measurements she took of me against the finished uniforms.  each piece had the correct size, in all areas.  it meant only one thing.  i lost weight!

hurrah!  i lost 2 and a half inches around the waist and an inch or two everywhere else.  i happily gave back the uniforms to the dressmaker for readjustments.  i didn't care that i would be the only one not in uniform tomorrow.  this is totally worth the wait.  i'm looking forward to losing more weight soon!

seven pounds down, 43 more to go =P

the only time i weigh myself is when i visit the kids' pedia.  she shares a big clinic with my ob and 3 other doctors so they have one weighing scale which is the kind that also measures your height, not the bathroom scale most of us have.  so it's the only place where i weigh myself because i know i am going to get the most accurate reading.  the last time i weighed myself was around a month ago and this afternoon, i had to bring maxie to the doctor because his cough refuses to go away.  and since the clinic was nearly deserted by the time we arrived, i had the courage to go ahead and weigh in.

i was pleased with what i saw.  i guess the pill really works. i hope i am really on my way now. =D

a jumpstart of sorts

Since a regular work-out schedule is not possible just yet, i decided to take the plunge and try the weightloss pill which was recommended to me. I've been taking it for a month now and i'm happy to say that i am seeing some positive results, albeit slowly. i've lost 2 inches on the waist and i do feel lighter. i have no idea if i finally lost some weight as i have no scale in the house [i weigh myself when i go to the doctor for check-ups] but the inches satisfy me for now.

this pill has changed my appetite, the amount of food i need to satisfy my hunger and it has even changed the way i eat sweets. i no longer need to have huge mounds of rice on my plate and i can't even finish a slice of chocolate cake by myself. i also easily feel full. of course, there are side effects: my mouth feels constantly dry so i try to chug a lot of water. some types of food and drinks also taste different. and until recently i felt a bit light-headed towards the end of the day [ i'm not sure if this last one is a side effect or is due to the terrible heatwaves we constantly have].

i don't intend to take this pill for a long period though as i don't want to become dependent and besides, i really want to start an exercise regimen soon. a friend and i started to do some walking in a nearby park, after work but we've been successfully doing it only once every week. it's not enough. there are two diet programs i also want to try out: the south beach diet and the carbohydrate addict's diet. i've read both books and i find the programs doable and quite possible to maintain for life.

i'm giving this pill another month. if the weight doesn't budge by the end of the next month, it will be time for me to up the ante and move on to my next plan of attack.

p.s. in case you're wondering why i'm not naming the pill, i didn't because i don't want to influence anyone to try it out. it might not have the same effect on others.

what i need to age well, gracefully - notes taken while watching OPRAH

Antioxidants [5 servings [ fistfuls] a day]
examples:
steel cut oatmeal with apple juice
whole wheat grains and pasta
100% whole grain or whole wheat bread
blueberries
red beans
brocolli
concord grape juice
red wine - 1 glass daily
flaxseed - grind and sprinkle on oatmeal or cerals, or whatever
walnuts
spirulina algae - sea weed
olive oil 1-2 tablespoons a day [use to coat food before cooking]
tomatoes
4 cups green or white tea

daily supplements:
25 grams of fiber [psyllium husks]
omega 3 DHA - 600mg
vitamin D 1000 iu
calcium with magnesium [take together or as a combination]
a multivitamin withno more than 5000 iu of Vitamin A and iron - split it in half, first half morning, 2nd half at night

herbs and spices to load up on:
rosemary
cayenne
paprika
curry

exercise:
cardio to keep heart rate up - at least 20 minutes, 3 times a week [ formula: 122- age x .80 = heart rate up
strength training at least 30 minutes a week
flexibility exercise
meditation

sleep: 7 to 8 hours per night
sex: 2 to 3 times a week

another obstacle

i was so happy when my sister said that we were signing up for a twice a week yoga class. although i still haven't updated my fitday.com account i've been watching my food intake and have been successfula t limiting my carbo-load. the thing is i'm knocked out with allergic rhinitis and bronchial asthma which means i have been puffing away on my turbohaler and taking in cortico-steriod pills. so i am as bloated as ever.

needless to say, the yoga classes are postponed. i have to eat well or else i will tremble from all the steroids.

i hate how i look so i try not to look in the mirror. and i think i can swim in all the water i've been drinking for the last couple of days.

so much for trying. =P

looking back at the not so distant past

this, i first posted in my friendster blog. i'm reviving it here as i need all the tools i can get to help me. as of the present, i'm still inclined to take the 'diet pill' road. i feel so pathetic, there is not one ounce of will power left in me. and i am doubly discouraged to read that back in December 2006, i only needed to lose 25 lbs. that means i doubled my weight gain. i must look horrible. i can't even look in the mirror without saying 'yuck!' why isn't the mirror enough motivation?

December 18, 2006 - 5:40 pm.

Dr. Phil's Goal Getters

I used to be reed-thin. "Used to be" was when I was a child. I would eat anything I wanted without gaining an ounce. When I turned 14 I suddenly "bloomed" into a chubby teenager. It was as if everything I ate since childhood manifested itself in my still growing body. Since then I’ve had an on and off affair with all the diets you can imagine. Name it, I’ve tried it. From not eating rice for months to the healthier calorie-counting, I would lose most of the weight but as expected, gain it all back and more when I stopped dieting. I also became a gym freak. I think it became an obsession because I once landed in the hospital due to severe asthma attack caused by over fatigue (2 hours of work-out, twice a day, everyday).

Of course after all that, I realized that the key to a great-looking body is really simple. It means living a healthy lifestyle, which in turn means: healthy food intake + regular and proper exercise. But, then simple, in this case doesn't mean easy. No matter how many magazine articles I read about fitness and health, no matter how many silent resolutions I make to start working on it, and how many frequent unpleasant jolts I get when I see my reflection, nothing seems to work. I still have not found that "kick" i need in order to really convert.

So here I am again for the nth time trying to change my lifestyle so I can get to that elusive goal. This time I want it more than just to have a praise-worthy body. I want to slim down for better reasons, so I can feel better about myself and live long enough to take care of my family well. I hope this plan from Dr. Phil will work, because if it won't, I don't know anymore what will.

Mapping out the Plan (August 7, 2006, Monday)

Describe your measurable goal(s)

I want to lose 25 pounds and help encourage and inspire my husband to eat healthy so we both will live (as I hope it is in God's plan) to see our baby grow up, have a successful, fulfilling, and happy life, and give us grandkids whom we will shamelessly spoil.

Express your goal in terms of specific behaviors and feelings

I want to lose 25 pounds because I want to feel good about my body again. I want to be able to wear the kind of clothes I like. I want to feel more alive and energetic so that I can keep up with my growing daughter and be able to play with her without getting tired easily.

Describe what you will do

1. I will eat slower than I usually do to give my body the chance to recognize that I’ve had enough before its too late.
2. I will control my cravings for sweets by eating only two servings on any given day.
3. I will consume at most, 1/2 cup of rice or two slices of bread every time I eat.
4. I will eat a maximum of 6 times a day: 3 smaller main meals and 3 snacks.
5. I will not drink sodas that are not of the lite, diet, or sugar-free variety.
6. I will spin (ride our stationary bike) everyday starting with 5 minutes a day, increasing the time period till I reach 30 minutes without feeling that I’m about to die of exhaustion.
7. When spinning becomes easy for me, I will start lifting weights.

Describe how you want to feel when you reach your goal

I want to feel happy and proud of myself for reaching my goal. I want to feel that I will be able to control my eating and exercise habits so asto be able to maintain being healthy for life.

Assign a timeline

I want to reach my goal at the latest by my daughter’s first birthday which means...

Break your goals into manageable steps

... I must lose a minimum of 5 pounds a month.

Create accountability

I will ask my mother to tell me if I look better and healthier at least once every two weeks, and to be my "food police" when necessary. I will check my progress by regularly weighing myself.

Work on them until you have what you want

I will review this plan everyday until it becomes second nature to me to follow it and I will jump start this plan by spinning now.

getting weaker and weaker

first it was concentrating on the modules i had to edit, i practically had to delete all of the stuff and encode new data! dang!

then i had to focus on family time as edwin just arrived from a 2-week stay out of town.

now i'm in the hospital watching over maxie who has been admitted for pneumonia since yesterday.

fitday.com for now is a thing of the past, and yes because it was my sole motivation, i'm slipping fast and hard. i've been eating sweets like there's no tomorrow. and eating full meals at that!

since sunday, ive been talking about popping diet pills to get some help, like a head start, of sorts.

there's this pill called 'goodliness', it's made in china and is quite cheap. and the results, the ones who have tried it say that it is very effective and you lose weight fast. but chinese products scare me so it's not my first choice right now.

the other one, the name of which i can't remember is a lot safer but kinda pricey cause its branded. and there are no side effects. 'goodliness' they say make your mouth dry and some people get hyper or palpitate. this branded one's only side effect is the small hole it might make in my pocket. small probably but a hole just the same.

plus, i would have to quit breastfeeding maxie, not that he gets much out of me anyway. but it's part of our bonding moments. maybe i'll wait till it hurts when he bites. gums, i can still take.

discipline, how do i keep it when lack of sleep drives me to hunger? and, exercise, when will i have the time?

i'm a slacker

so i bailed out on my calorie counting but it doesn't mean i cheated. i had a very healthy day today, mostly veggies and less carbs. lastnight wasn't bad either. too bad i wasn't able to record my nutritional intake.

for the record, i missed uploading updates in my food and activity logs since last night, but i'm too lazy to turn back and try to remember everything i put in my mouth. let's see if fitday will go crazy on my overview page.

anyways, i promise to resume the recording tomorrow.

the first week is over

i wonder why i didn't lose even a bit of weight. i feel better and lighter, my clothes feel looser...
hmmm, i shouldn't really wonder. if i remember right, the inches peeled off faster than the weight fell off per experience. let me check my measurements.......

i was right. in some areas, i lost an inch. in others like the waist, just half an inch. its okay. it's been just one week. and no exercise at that. i'm hoping to start exercising by next week.

a new beginning

since eating is a major part of my happiness, i have had to try all kinds of diets back when having a great body mattered. from the three day diet, to the cabbage soup diet, to the no rice diet. all these diets had one common thing in particular. they all drove me to such anger, i was ready to kill anybody who crossed me. so i decided to count calories one day and wrote everything i ate in a notebook. i managed to fill up 3 notebooks [i think] but it was the best thing i ever did for my body. i finally achieved a dream: look fit and trim and wear the clothes i wanted to wear.

after my first baby, i did not try to get back to the pre-baby body. nothing motivated me, not even the sight of all those women who so have-it-together. you know, the ones who have toddlers in tow but still look like they came right out of a fashion magazine page. i saw one such 'hot momma' in my little girl's school today, i wanted to rip her head right off. =P

anyway, a few days ago, while i was reading a blog i happened to click on, it was about grungy mommies [ this one got my radar blinking on overdrive], i came accross a link about tracking your calories. and since then i was hooked. it's precisely the reason why i have not been blogging.

fitday.com, i was happy to discover did not only automatically compute my calorie intake but it showed me graphs of my nutrition or the lack of it, activity level and calories burned, and more. call me weird but i finally found something to motivate me to lose all the weight and get moving.

so i'm on my 5th day today, and so far, i am happy with what i've been posting. i'm taking it slow but with direction. and i'm being realistic. there is a downside though, it takes a while for each entry to be uploaded. and not all the food i eat is in its database. but tonight i found redemption. i was able to finish with my inputs faster by opening multiple tabs and working on the different pages one after the other. and checking out calorie equivalents is a breeze if i just google the ones they don't have.

so if you are like me, a person who finds satisfaction and motivation in a planned, methodical, and detailed weight-loss regimen, fitday.com is for you. i'm sure the simple, clean and straightforward interface will excite you. do i hear "obsessive-compulsive" just yet? =P

here's to finally finding my motivation! bottoms-up the diet cola!