yesterday i stopped taking note of what i ate, instead i just kept on being mindful of what i ate.  taking care to not overeat and continue with my no-white-rice diet.

i also have successfully avoided dessert pastries and i hope i can keep on with my birthday nearing and the christmas season coming in.  i cannot claim that i have stopped drinking sodas and eating sweets altogether but because of the conscious effort i am happy to report that i have kept it at a minimum.

my waterloo instead is my love for starchy food.  the whiter the better, ha ha.  i love rich, dense bread, pasta of all kinds, and yes, white rice.

last night i had a spoonful of it and i was reminded of how comforting and delicious it is when paired with the right food [which simply means everything else].  but i'm glad i stopped myself at that one spoonful.

i also love pork very much, especially when it is tender and with just the right amount of fat.  and pork to me is best paired with white rice.  think lechon and a steaming cup of rice.  or pork tonkatsu as topping to a hot bowl of japanese rice.  or even nilagang baboy isn't complete if you don't have at least a cup of white rice with it.  and chicharon, have you tried it with left-over rice?

according to any and all weight-loss diets ever created and written, this is the most sinful of combinations.  this is the pairing that is so calorie-dense that it will sabotage weeks of conscientious dieting.

so why, oh why is something that tastes so good sooo, sooo bad for us? especially to apple-shaped women like me.  and do you know that whenever i attend parties, i bypass all of the other attractive and dishes served in favor of lechon and plain white rice.  to me, nothing can beat the satisfaction of crunchy roasted pork rind, pure almost bland tender slice of meat and a spoonful of white rice.  with or without the sauce that comes with it, it is perfection.

pardon this rant of a post.  i turned away from succulent lechon being hawked at the mall at dinnertime yesterday and for lunch today i only had 2 rolls of meatless fresh lumpia.  and not even a grain of brown rice with it.

day 9

of my 30-day challenge.

today was an epic fail in all accounts.  i did no exercise and i ate way too much than i should have.  i have reasons but i won't make any excuses.  i almost was not going to post anything today, out of shame.  but i promised not to lie, so here i am.

and there's one thing, i can't decide if it's a good or bad discovery.  i just finished reading this book

it has now changed how i thought being fit and healthy should be.  and it TOTALLY compromises the challenge i have embarked on.  and now i honestly don't know how to go on.

i want to do aerobic exercises as it says i should but i don't know of any which won't worsen my knee problem.  swimming is not an option.  the one thing, pilates, which makes me sweat and which works my muscles sore is way too expensive to do everyday.

and it also says i should be eating a mostly carbo-filled diet and a moderate intake of  fat and protein.  the exact opposite of what i thought was good for me.and that the focus should not be in the weight loss but on my waistline [gulp].

i feel miserable right now.  but i won't quit.  somehow, i'm going to get ME back.  i just have to find my way.

the only good thing about today is i finished reading ben from start to present and he is so inspiring, i wanted to put on my sweats and head for the gym.  but my upset stomach and STILL bad knee held me back.

so i'm changing up the challenge a bit.  it will no longer be a "no this if no that" thing.  it will simply be a challenge to just DO IT and this is still day 9 of course.  so here goes.

Target weight: 125 lbs.
Target waistline: 28
Target Date: November 1, 2011, my 40th birthday

side note:  i needed a change of title as well. i hope i do it justice.

day 8

of my 30-day challenge.

boy am i glad yesterday didn't count as cheat day because today unwittingly became one.  i did not eat rice yes but i ate a lot.  a little of this and a little of that, ends up a lot.  that i don't, can't, remember each and every item that i shoved into my mouth.

so i won't make a food report.  and yes i'm cheating cause i declare today as my cheat day,  and i'm going to make up for my pigging out tomorrow.  rest assured my binge did not include any dessert, nor a grain of rice.

today's realization:

• i have to find a way to get rid of my clean-plate mentality, and no throwing-out of food mentality.  i can't seem to stand the thought of wasting food even if i am confronted with the most unpalatable dish ever [unless i have an aversion to it's aroma, of course]
• i must, must learn to say no, NO, NO, NO.

Day 7

of my 30 day challenge.

i wasn't able to update last night because i got home really late.  after watching eat, pray, love.  alone. on last full show.  ha ha ha.  i had a silly grin on my face from when i got up from my seat as the credits rolled, all the way to the almost empty parking lot.  but that story belongs to another blog.  so, on with my 1-day-late report.

so yesterday being a sunday was my cheat day.  but because i had my pilates the day before, it didn't really feel like cheat day.  i don't think i made a huge dent on my diet.

i'm feeling good about my self-discipline when it comes to eating lately  so i think it's time to tighten the belt  so to speak [pun super-intended], so i am going to up the ante on this challenge in a while.

but first,

• at 8 am i had the breakfast of champions and my morning coffee
• lunch at noon was a serving of my left over creamy squash soup over a half cup of corn grits and an egg
• i was famished by 3pm, so i ordered myself a heavy mid-afternoon snack of a big cervelat and a small siding of warm potato salad.  i dredged each yummy bite of sausage with their really good mustard [edmond fallot].  and i had another mug of coffee, this time brewed.
• we had a dinner meeting at a filipino restaurant and i am proud to say that it was not difficult to NOT eat rice.  i had salad greens with mango salsa, a small cup of molo soup, mixed veggies, and a few slices of pata tim. i mopped up the sauce with a slice and a half of the bread that came with it.  the bread was heavenly and i suspected calorific so i stopped myself from reaching for more.

what i learned this week:

1.  that it is INDEED good to write down what you eat.  it helps a lot because it makes you aware of what you put into your mouth.  doing it in a blog makes you feel more accountable even if you know not many people read you.  i did not know that saving-face can be a good weight-loss tool.
2. that you can control how much you eat by pacing yourself.  it is very dangerous to let myself get really hungry because i WILL eat calorie-dense food.  my brain will not function when i am that hungry so i will end up wasting all that effort.  and the self-loathing that comes immediately after sucks big time.  i'm glad i had that occasional banana and cereal bar to tide miyself over to dinner time.
3. that if you have a really light dinner, you have to accept that you should drink something hot before going to bed because you will wake-up in the middle of the night with a rumbly stomach.  by the way, i forgot to write this,  that night i slept hungry, i think the other day, the one where i had salad greens for dinner, i downed a handful of peanuts and a glass of water at 2am, or i wouldn't have been able to go back to sleep.
4. that discipline grows on you.  i said no to dessert so many times this week, i lost count.  i wanted to go for seconds many times but i didn't.  i unintentionally ended up with something sweet [i ordered a cold raspberry green tea, requesting the staff not to add sugar/sweetener] to drink with my salad that other night.  i only drank half of it because they forgot my request, and the i found it too sweet.
5. that it's okay to tweak this challenge if it will make it a better challenge. the tweaks i will post later just because. =P

Day 6

of my 30 day challenge.

today was good.  in more ways than one.

let me get the food diary out of the way, i had:

• coffee and the breakfast of champions in the morning
• this for lunch:

creamy squash soup over con grits and sprinkled with chili flakes

• a banana and a cereal bar as late-afternoon snack
• a salad of mesclun greens with parma ham, goat cheese, shavings of parmesan cheese, cherry tomatoes drizzled in vinaigrette.  it was delish!!! [note to self for next time:  ask the waiter to serve the dressing separately so i consume less of it.]

on to more good news:

• one of the pilates instructors commented that i lost a considerable amount of weight from when i first started [a few months ago].  yipee!  and he gave me further tips on how to lose more weight gradually.  he gave me the no-no about not eating carbs, i should be happy, i guess.
• i met an online friend who is my most supportive cheerer in the weight-loss department, and she is the reason i had salad for dinner.  i can just imagine if we lived in the same city, either i'm now as slim as she is or we won't be friends anymore, ha ha ha.  i actually fear her.  i mean that in a good way. =P
•  i did some new routines on the reformer today.  it was really hard but i did not give up.
• tomorrow is my cheat day but i'm deadset on eating right to make up for my challenge booboo.

to be honest i feel a bit hungry now so i'm going to drink a glass of water and hit the bed so i don't end up ruining today. =P

major booboo discovery

OMG

i checked out my 30-day challenge post and reread it.

and i just made a major booboo.  i thought i wrote NO RICE, and not NO CARBS...

lol, i've been eating carbs here and there, albeit reduced portions to my normal capacity.  i'm so effing pathetic.  =P

so i guess i have to tighten the belt and do the nocarbs if no exercise etc, etc thing from now on.

way to go self, i think i just got the gold for world's worst challenge-taker ever. =P

Day 5

of my 30-day challenge.

so this is a late post.  i've been waking up so early for the past week or so that my eyelids shut down on me even before i finished reading my blog roll last night.  so i was too sleepy to stay up and recall yesterday's food report.  here goes:

yesterday i had:
a mug of coffee and 2 cold chinese lumpia for breakfast [it was yummy, and it felt strangely okay even if the insides were kinda frozen, it gave it a bit of an extra crunch, lol]

i had a late lunch at around 2pm and had a hot roast chicken on bread which was smothered with gravy and a scoop of potato salad at Pancake house, while waiting for my car to finish being washed.

in the afternoon i had guests from cebu city [my college classmate and her hubby], i brought them to my house to see my bebes and for some durian treat.  i had 3 pcs downed with coke light. [i had to show them how to eat it okay, =P]

for dinner we went to a chinese resto, AHFAT III, and i had Hototay soup, kinilaw, french beans in garlic sauce, a few pieces of spicy pork ribs, and 1 steamed garlic and chili prawn.  take note, NO RICE!  and i drank hot chinese tea in the hopes of melting the fried pork ribs i had. =P

i'm going to meet up with another friend from cebu tonight and because i was too busy to exercise again yesterday, i will have to skip the sweets again,  and go without rice again, today.

self-analysis:
this is becoming more of a food diary than a challenge-to-exercise blog.  i admit defeat in the exercise department but i'm finding the "writing down everything i eat" habit really helpful on being mindful of what i eat and how much of the tempting but really bad for me food i allow myself.

i really tried the gym thing but it is just not for me right now.  i end up getting more stressed trying to fit it in into my already full life.  and if i pressure myself more i end up miserable and harassed, so for now i guess its not just worth it.

i'm sticking with my twice a week pilates though and i might embark on a new physical activity after i finish this book i am in the middle of reading.  it is health-related and timely for me, and am actually excited to start the program it is recommending.  i'll write about it tomorrow.

i am also reducing my intake of fried food and trying my darnedest best to drink nothing but water. err, morning coffee not included in the beverage ban, okay.

Day 4

of my 30-day challenge.

i had an early morning meeting so i had nothing but coffee for breakfast.  i did not do it intentionally of course, i know it's unhealthy to skip meals, but then some days are just like that.

the meeting took all morning and even till noon so by 1pm i was ravenous.  my hubby asked to order from our fave persian place, Majid's.  so that's what we had for lunch.  at 1:30pm.  and yes, i completely forgot that i wasn't allowed to eat rice today.  this is what i had:

1 goat kabab with loobia and grilled tomato, garlic sauce and hummus
dill chicken and rice [left-over of guela]  which was about 2/3 of the whole serving
1 mango and a half
i remembered not to take juice.

i ran some errands in the afternoon and had a banana at 6pm so i would not be ravenous again at dinner.  we went out to Spirale, an italian resto, as requested by my daughter who made a major booboo just before we went home.  i had:

1/3 serving of salcicce pasta [cream, tomato sauce, assorted sausages]
2 slices Gordo pizza [assorted sausages and prosciutto]
half a can of coke zero

i know, dinner sounds really calorific but hubby is going away again tomorrow so dinner had to be special, salad greens just isn't gonna cut it.


bold note:

• the juice we have here right now is of the powdered kind [meaning: sugar-laden]
• guela went out to play as we were waiting for the bill, picked up a stone and threw it as hard as she could, it hit the glass window of the japanese resto beside ours.  good thing she isn't so strong yet, the stone only made an itty bitty scratch on the glass.  but we scolded her good and she was masulub-on the rest of the way home. ha ha, lesson definitely learned, i hope. =P

Day 3

of my 30 - day challenge.

this is going to be quick cause i'm sleepy already.  today started really early.  and no i did not exercise.

6am - coffee, 1 cup corn grits, corned beef hash, lemonade

10:30am - a banana

12noon - 3/4 cup corn grits, an invented salad [i don't know what to call it but it was yummy], broiled fish, dessert: a banana with nut nougat spread, orange juice

2pm a cup of cofffee

5pm - 2 chinese lumpia, orange juice

7:30pm 2 servings of pork meatball soup with patola and bihon [rice noodles], orange juice

and i also had the following somewhere in between the above times: 2 jellybeans, 1/5 of a chocochip cookie, a handful of milo cereals. THESE WERE FORCE-FED TO ME BY MY BEBES

note to self:

• stop drinking juice, go by water instead.
• i can always spit the junk into the trash bin when the bebes aren't looking.
• i meant to experiment on a german potato salad recipe i just received but the hubby wanted soup for dinner, so soup it was.

Day 2

of my 30 day challenge.

Today started really great.  i had what i call the breakfast of champions because i actually copied it from the blogs of some of my fave weight-loss champions, Ben and Theodora. 

breakfast of champions

i had it at 6:00 am. can you believe that?  if i did not actually eat them, i wouldn't have believed it myself, lol.  once upon a time i was the kind of person who did not eat till lunch time.  well, sometimes i'm still like that.  but this morning i had to arm myself because i was going to be stuck in guela's school and the canteen serves mostly starchy and fried food.  so i decided to try the banana and peanut butter on whole wheat toasts which i often see in my champions' blogs.

i also brought with me a quarter of a cup of corn grits which i ate with guela's left over chicken nuggets at 10am.

i returned to my pilates class after a week-long absence and was happy that i aced all but one of the routines.  my shoulders were weak today and i could hardly finish one of my arm exercises.  but i sweat buckets so i declare the session a success, ha ha.

i had late lunch with the hubby at 2:30pm and had a cup of corn grits and something we call picadillo over here.  it is ground pork cooked with diced potatoes, peas and raisins, and it was good.  the downside was it was a bit too oily. =(

before heading out to the supermarket at 6pm i had a banana and a handful of peanuts.  i did this to stave off hunger so i wouldn't go berserk at the mall and order the first sinful thing i laid my eyes on [it worked!]

for dinner at 8pm, i had my last cup of corn grits for the day [shoo, go away cholesterol, shoo, go away evil sugar in my blood!] and the left over picadillo and 1 cheek of a ripe, sweet, juicy mango.

today was a big improvement to my usual convenient but really-bad-for-you choice of food.  i also bought more veggies to make our meals healthier.  i also chucked my plan of preparing fish and chips tomorrow and instead serve baked fish and german potato salad, the recipe of which was recently shared to me.

i hope to be able to make it to the gym tomorrow.  there was lightness in my step today.  maybe it's the excitement of taking on a challenge.  maybe it's the good feeling you get when you know you did right by yourself.  whatever it is, i hope to keep it up, so that the lightness i feel inside will be reflected on what is seen on the outside. =P

Day 1

of my 30 day challenge.

today was the last day of my frenzied concentration and preparation for two major work-related activities. well, at least for now.  so work took up practically the whole day which means, you get it, i did not get to do a conscious physical work out.  but if running around and going up and down a flight of stairs in heels count... no? err, okay, so i did not get to exercise today.

which means, i don't get to eat rice nor my itty-bitty-daily-indulgence of something sweet.  well, i think knowing this ugly truth made me eat everything offered to me today, which for the major part was, what our culinary students prepared for our activity.

the lowdown: [don't gasp, i'm outing myself here, you may cringe with me]

7:00 am 1 can of San Marino Tuna Paella, heated in the microwave

10:00 am Guela's left-over cheesy rice omelet [about 1/2 cup], 1 mug of coffee with coffeemate and cocosugar

1:00pm 1/2 of a modest club sandwich, 4 tuna-fita canapes, 3 spoonfuls of chocolate mousse [from the culinary class kitchen], 4 small pieces of bulad from cebu dipped in spicy vinegar with 4 spoonfuls of rice [from my dad's lunch box]

4:00pm 1/2 of another modest club sandwich, 3 spoonfuls of chocolate mousse, a cup of fruit punch [left-over from what we served our guests, eaten while relaxing with my colleagues, after the day's work was done

6:30 pm suddenly felt ravenous and went and ordered a plate of salisbury steak from red ribbon [had to go to the mall to buy something guela need's for her school activity tomorrow, i wanna bite the teacher's head off for informing us last minute]  i left about a half cup of rice on my plate.  downed what i ate with coke lite

7:30 pm a cone of milo-soft freeze eaten while browsing for books at booksale, was able to buy me three books and some adorable notebooks and pads

here's where it gets absolutely worse,

8:30pm - guilt eating, i had to eat what was prepared for me at home - 4 chicken nuggets, a cup of soup with spinach, 2 small slices of fried eggplant dribbled with knorr original seasoning, a cup of corn grits

10:00pm - 1 honey glazed dunkin donut with 1bottle of cerveza negra while blogging

bold notes:

• the club sandwich was modest because all the fillings were thinly sliced
• i love corn grits and i'm glad to find out they lower down cholesterol and blood sugar levels, i'm not saying i didn't mess up today just because i had corn grits
• the beer is for the period, which my grandmother taught me [not that she meant to]

so today was an epic fail at eating healthy, i know.  i hope i fare better tomorrow, if only to regain some of my dignity.

good night, the cerveza is no more.

updates and hitching a ride on the 30-day challenge bandwagon

i've been putting off posting anything because i don't have any good news to tell.  for this week.  nada.  but i finally thought of something which will make me make the obligatory daily post if i wanna win this battle i have staged.

but first let me give you the lowdown on my 1 week of absence:

• last monday i had chest pains which worried me enough to warrant a visit to the OPD.  i underwent some tests and no they did not approve my plans of going to the gym that afternoon
• on tuesday, i had to undergo more tests and being unsure if i was supposed to still rest, i cancelled my pilates session.  i then got my results in the late afternoon and the results are:

my blood sugar is 6.3, which means i'm .2 points over the highest normal

my cholesterol is on the high side

my kidney is okay

my liver is okay

the doctor then asked me to undergo another test for my blood sugar, this time without the need to do any fasting.  he said i can have it done anytime, no hurry.  and so i didn't hurry and now i lost the prescription. dang it!

 the doctor also said to watch what i ate.  to avoid sweets and fried food and to exercise.  i did none of the above this week, [explanation coming in a while].

• on wednesday my daughter's major exams started.  this meant a change in routine, more exposure to the intense tropical sun [i had to wait for her in the school canteen until she finished] equals, i was totally drained of energy by noontime. and of course i said no way jose to the gym.
• on thursday, the preparations for 2 major work activities were in full swing and i absolutely was not abandoning tasks in favor of the gym.
• on friday, i was up to my neck with work until the sun set so again... you already know what did not happen
• and today, was also work-filled for our BIG monday activity so you guessed it... no pilates!!!  and by the way, yes the left knee is still a problem, but less so.

am i pissed off at myself?  noooo.  to be honest, i don't want to beat myself up about my lack of gym time because i absolutely loved every minute of missing it! ha ha!

sigh.  more and more i see how this gym thingy has no place in my life right now... what to do, what to do??? i asked my self as i lay down my overweight self on my bed every night.

and tonight it finally struck me!  i am going to do the no-carbs/no sweets- if-no-exercise-30-day-challenge!  my challenge title is so lame, i know, but it is what i thought of doing.  i will not allow myself to eat any carbs or anything sweet if i don't spend at least an hour of exercise the day before.  so if i don't work-out on monday, i can't have even my brown rice on tuesday. and so on and so forth.  and of course, my cheat day will be on Sunday, which is tomorrow by the way, yipee!  [am i the luckiest challenge-taker or what!]

i figured that, even if i miss a lot of gym days, i punish myself by not eating "indulgent" food.  so i lose weight either way, by burning calories or by reducing my calorie intake.  so i win any which way right?

if it still isn't obvious how desperate i am, i don't know what more to do.  the other night i just wanted to call it quits.  write down my last post, wave the white flag, and let go of my pathetic attempt to get back in shape.


So,  whaddaya think?  will this love for carbs and sweets make me exercise daily?

this is how it's gonna work:

1. i start on monday.
2. i'm gonna post here everything that goes into my mouth for that day.
3. i'm gonna post if i exercised or not and if yes, what form of exercise i did for the day.
4. i am not going to lie.  i promise.
5. i am going to bore you because i will post the food details and the exercise details every single day
6. i will do this for 30 days so that means the challenge ends on November 18, 2010.

so, i ask you, my dear reader, not to laugh, nor snicker.  i ask you to wish me luck,  pray for me,  be my challenge-police.  be my anything, please, anything that will help me move forward.

if any of you want to join me in this challenge, please speak up so i can be your one-woman-cheering squad, if need be. =D

So help me God.

three things

1. i gained weight instead of losing it.  i gained 5 pounds in 1 week.  this better be pms or else i'm gonna blame it on the cardio work-outs. [of course i can't blame it on the food i've been ingesting]
2. my left knee still hurts, but i'm gonna do the treadmill just the same, tomorrow.
3. i made a deal with the hubby, starting tomorrow, we start eating healthy.  and no complaining allowed!
4. i'm going to go crazy if i gain another 5 pounds when the week ends.

okay, that's 4 things.  i'm just so mad right now.

p.s.  pilates was a breeze today.  of course i still thought i was gonna die after each set but i definitely cursed less. 

2-inch heels, a bad knee, and in need of advice

i bought 2 pairs of strappy 2-inch heeled shoes.  they were customized, hence the supposedly mere 2 inches.

but me, being the fitflop mommy, clicked my knee not even 2 hours after i started wearing them.  i was walking from the car to the bank and i heard my knee click or crack or probably snap.  whatever.  it happened yesterday.  and until now my knee still feels painful.  i don't know if it is because of bad bones or my legs being really ignorant when it comes to heeled shoes.

so we had to work-out around the bad knee at pilates class today.  i'm planning to just brisk walk on the treadmill tomorrow, at most.

or is there a safer way to burn calories?  i would appreciate if you can help me before tomorrow afternoon comes.

bummer monday

so i didn't get to work out on saturday.  nor did i get to do so on sunday.  to make the long story short, the hubby had some guests and i as the dutiful wife co-entertained them.  not that i didn't enjoy entertaining.  i did.  but i pretty much bumped off everything else in the schedule.  and when i finally had time. i was exhausted.

enter monday.  my supposedly getting back into schedule and planned routine.  which means my only window was lunch time today.  but this too was snatched away from me.  not that i didn't enjoy lunching with the hubby and his guests. but three days of no exercise! just when i had it going well!

tomorrow, i have pilates at lunch time, if i had nothing in the morning i would squeeze in gym time as well.  but still not THAT lucky.  i have an all-morning meeting.

so here's the plan: i will double up on friday and hopefully put in time on the weekend too.  to make up for the 2 days i missed.

good thing there won't be any guests any time soon. not that i do not enjoy entertaining. =P