the 'before' me

alright.  i'm gonna post something i've never done before, a very unflattering picture of me.  no edits, no photoshop.  i might as well be naked here.  i just wanted to sort of give validity to this blog and to introduce myself to those who read me but don't have an idea how big i am, lol.

this is your untypical 'before' picture.  for one, it isn't a full body shot.  more important, i am smiling and happy.  not a pretty sight though.  i can list down all the flaws i see but that would go on forever.  and besides, saying my imperfections out loud will just get me depressed.  but, i chose this because this is me now.  all 167 lbs. of me [as the weighing scale said].  and looking at the pic makes me smile because of the memory it brings, a jolly good time with dear friends, sorry i had to crop you out guys.

i hope there will be an 'after' pic, and that i would look absolutely fabulous.  of course, with no photoshop editing required.  that would be when i'm forty.  yes, i intend to be fabulous at forty.  [that's about a year and a half from now].

here's to showing you a better pic come july 9, my 'midway-through-the-hurdle' goal date.  bottoms up the night time tea! =D

i slipped

today.  not literally, though.

i've been good at keeping my latest promise which is - no eating white rice.  so i've been good since my last brown rice post, till today.  i ran out, of brown rice that is.  so i had white rice for lunch and for dinner.  dang!

oh well, atleast i did not go the extra mile and stuff myself full of it, =P

overcoming plateaus

should be easier than scaling a mountain, right?  instead it is one of the most difficult things to win.  for many, it's the last 5 or 10 pounds to lose.  for me, it is the stoppage of progress.  the part when you stop losing weight even if you continue doing what made you lose [or should i say win?] in the first place.

so i guess i went with it and stopped trying for a while.  now i'm back on track.  i finally drove myself to the pilates center first thing after leaving the house.  i renewed my 'contract' and my next session starts at 2pm on wednesday.

he he, there's nothing like shame to get me going again.  i gotta save face. =P

delicious brown rice

the secret?  follow the instructions that come with it.  no instructions?  here's how to make that once-is-enough-coarse-and-bland-tasting but oh-so-much healthier version of that thing you can't live without:

1. rice to water ratio - 1:2, that means if you cook 4 cups of rice, you will need 8 cups of water [yes, its that much]
2. add a bit of salt to taste [optional, i don't feel the need though]
3. soak it in the water for an hour before you hit the cooker switch.

i promise you soft but firm morsels akin to the arborio variety we adore.

savor every spoonful. =D

p.s. you can mix it with wild black rice like i did as you see in the picture, that is if you like a hint of  nuttiness.

don't wait for it

that's what a friend told me last night.  it's been more than 2 weeks now and i don't see any visible results.  and i'm now on 25 squeezes every morning, straight, each day getting more difficult than the next.

but i don't need to drink a vitamin c supplement anymore.  and i go at least once a day now [major improvement, i tell you].  but i'm also taking kelp, vinegar, and lecithin which i get from healthy options.  i drink 2 tablets twice a day.  plus i take tea every night.

all i need to do is lay off on the sweets and carbs and start exercising.  yep, i admit, the pilates teacher hasn't seen my shadow since my last training package.  grrrrr.

so i try not to be so disappointed in me and push on even if i'm hating myself right now.  i refuse to go on a diet as i know i'll just go easy on it at the littlest sign of weight loss.  how do i change my eating habits and how do i motivate myself to move more?

how do i not wait for it?  how do i not look in the mirror and scrutinize at the reflection i see?  how do i win this fight?  will someone please give me an answer.

uncomfortable

yesterday i polished off half a pint of fruity yogurt, for breakfast i ate all of the remaining cottage cheese, the tub was still about half full.  and now 'm eating a cup of yogurt ice cream.

and that's just the healthy stuff.  i don't wanna report on the bad ones.  what's wrong with me.  where is my will.  today is the last day to sign up for pilates again, or else i'm officially a liar.

and it's only five more days till my brother's wedding.  my deadline is looming and i'm nowhere near my goal weight.

i have plenty excuses, plenty reasons to give myself a break.  with the kind of life i have right now, my weight is the last thing i should be worried about.

i must push on.  when do i lick this comfort food default mode.  when the going gets tough why do i reach for ice cream?